Lawrence
Let’s just do a quick recap of who Lawrence is. Lawrence and Issa started dating during season 1. They were living together, but Lawrence didn’t have a job and Issa was paying the rent by her lonely. Issa cheated, they broke up, they got back together, and then broke up again. Somewhere in there Lawrence got a job, got a little money, and started hoe hoe hoeing like this was Mariah Carey on December 25th. Speed up to season 5 episode 3 and Lawrence is a new father. Condola has had the baby, but he is still very involved with Issa.
Lawrence was the focal point of this episode. And that’s the beauty – they wanted to highlight what it truly means to be a black father. I know that black men and black women watching this episode are going to leave with extremely different opinions, but last time that I checc’d (Nipsey voice), I’ve been a black woman since ‘95 so this review will definitely be from that perspective. And if you leave this review learning nothing else, I hope you remember this – the bar for black fathers is below the magma of the earth. Let’s get into it!
The episode starts with Condola having the baby…while Lawrence is on a date. He’s drinking alcohol on the date as well, which women cannot do pregnant. Just wanted to flag that. Lawrence complains about Condola naming the baby on her own and acting like giving his son his last name was a favor to him, but hasn’t been around for any portion of Condola’s pregnancy prior to this. Throughout the episode, he expresses constant frustration with Condola’s family acting like he’s a trash dad and says this “isn’t the way he thought things would go with his first kid.” Despite the family turmoil, he expresses desire to be a present father and tells Condola that he wants to attend the next appointment. Someone give this man a gold star.
Skip to the doctor’s appointment, which is just… so well executed on behalf of the writers. Lawrence and Condola argue about breastfeeding and the baby’s weight. What’s interesting, is that Lawrence is almost shocked that Condola hasn’t discussed her breastmilk, future doctor’s appointments, and even the baby’s baptism with him. Even more interesting – Condola seems flat out shocked that he wants to be involved with any of it. She even reminds him that he asked her to just “keep him updated.” This is when we first see that there is a communication issue between the two and that to be successful, they need to begin to discuss things…together. Even further - this scene highlights the communication issues between black parents in co-parenting relationships.
Fast forward to the baptism: Lawrence is congratulated, in front of Condola, for being a Black father who shows up for his family. Let’s be clear: all Lawrence has done to this point is go to a doctor’s appointment. At the baptism party, Lawrence feeds Elijah solids without checking in with Condola and she demands he give her back “her” baby (we are going to get into this language a little later). Derek convinces Lawrence to walk away and he admits that he’s tired of Condola acting like the baby is only hers, and not theirs. Not only that, he says that Condola should be happy with what he’s doing because “the majority of black father’s aren’t even in their kids life.” I just want to take a quick moment to highlight my good mans Derek. When Lawrence is complaining on and on, Derek said “so.” More black men need friends like that. Because Lawrence had absolutely no right. This is the accountability aspect - checking your friends when you know they’re wrong.
So where do this lead us? In my opinion - it leads us to two questions. The first, what role should black mothers and black fathers play in their babies life? The second, is if two parents cannot come to an agreement on how to raise a child, does the female parent have the right to withhold their baby from the male parent? These questions dive into intricacies that black mothers and fathers have struggled with since years.
Since the inception of time, black mothers have had to do more in within parenting than black fathers. We can do the typical African American Studies jargon and talk about how black men were ripped from the homes so they don’t have the tools or knowledge necessary to be present fathers, or we can start holding black fathers accountable. And I think this episode would agree that it’s time to start holding black fathers accountable. In the words of Condola, “you get to fly in and play part time good dad.” Traditionally, black mothers have been left with most of the day-to-day aspects of parenting – taking kids to school, changing diapers, putting the baby back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night, being the bad cop while the dad gets to play good cop, etc. I think this episode highlights this and almost advocates for a shift – with more weight being put on black fathers. I mean, how can you expect her to trust him to keep the baby overnight when he’s never done any overnight activities with the baby? Let alone day activities… Which brings us to our second question…does this mean that she can keep his son from him? No. Can I say that I wouldn’t have done the same thing? Also no. And that’s where things get dicey.
I don’t have the answers. But I do know, that if we call black fathers to step up, we have to be willing to allow them to do so. And even so, withholding a child from a father is never the answer. If we want to begin to re-write history and raise children in homes filled with love and honesty, then both parties need to compromise…together. And this ending highlights that beautifully. Communication is the pinnacle of every relationship - even a co-parenting relationship. Having the answers isn’t the answer…being dedicated to find them, together, is.
Quick shout out to our girl Keke Palmer! I don’t know if you all recall, but last year Keke shot her shot at Issa and asked to be in the show! She actually asked to beat Condola’s ass is one episode and ended up getting casted as her sister! Either way, you know I love when our girl True Jackson is in the show.
