Anotha One
Episode 2 and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve also found out that Michelle is indeed a gemini, which makes complete sense. She’s good at everything, makes amazing decisions, and gave the first impression rose to the obvious stallion of the group – which is what all of America would’ve done. The preview for this episode looks like she was on a 1-on-1 with Joe so I’m having a little panic attack – but we will see. I promised myself that I’m not jumping to conclusions in 2021.
THE FIRST DATE WAS A GROUP DATE!!!! ABC is a genius for this date because everyone in America loves kids. This is like a combination of “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” and “Lie Detective with Jimmy Kimmel.” I’m living for all of it. I also just realized that I don’t know 5th grade math. But what I do know – is that I used to absolutely wax youngins at musical chairs. Mirror, mirror on the wall, I was the nicest of them all. Name a chair…I was sitting in it. I’m also extremely nice at spelling. You can call me Akeelah and the bee.
Our guy Peter was getting a little bit of shineeeee this episode. Also, the man that called Peter a narcissist is objectively gay. To call someone a narcissist in front of Michelle is super low. He’s a complete clown for that. Every year there are contestants that take jabs at other contestants in front of the Bachelor/Bachelorette for air-time or because they think they are some noble being that is helping them find love. And every year, I hateeeeee that person. Imagine having to come for someone else so that you stand out. I still don’t even know his name and only know Peter’s. I know him as the man that came for Peter.
Side note – you know how else you can tell Michelle is a gemini. She says “give me a kiss” when she wants one. She also goes in for them!!! That’s big gemini energy. Fuck do I look like waiting for a man?!?!? It’s my affection and I need it now *infomercial voice.* Hennyways, the date ended in her giving her first impression rose to Brandon which was a little weird. I still have any idea who he is. Maybe because I was busy creating the mental hashtag #justiceforpeter. Or maybe because I’m still thinking about Nayte. Only time will tell xoxo Gossip Jazz.
In other news, who is Jamie? He said “I want to make sure I’m spending my time in the right place as well.” Like sir, you are on a show fighting for Michelle’s love. We don’t give a dizzity damn about your time. We care about Michelle. The male ego is insane to me sometimes. He said “I hope she feels that pressure as well. I have no intention of staying here if we don’t have that connection as well.” I promise you these fingers are not going to type another word about this man. Ok I lied though because I actually ended up liking him a little after their date. He’s great, but the situation gives me major Dean and Caelyn vibes. Dean is amazing (and is a traveling Scorpio like Jamie) and loves Caelyn (who is a down for whatever gemini like Michelle), butttttttt Dean does not have any intentions of settling down anytime soon because of his travel and you can tell that our girl Caelyn wants to. I just need both of my gemini sisters to end up with a ring okur.
The date that Joe is on is a group date!! Nayte having to watch this date with Joe is making me want to gauge my eyes out. What makes me the most mad, is that the blue team won, so Joe was not able to go to the cocktail party. However, they created an MVP of the day award just so that he would be able to go. You can tell how much she really likes him. She also gave him the rose which is soooooooo worrisome because Nayte was on the date!!!! He was so confident that he would get the rose from Michelle and she still gave it to Joe. One again, she’s giving it to Joe and I’m giving it to Jesus. Because I can’t.
Overall ladies, we are still doing well. Nayte is still here and that’s all that matters. We gotta just keep trudging along.
